bacon camp recipes, round one: bacon caliente pockets and extreme sausage action

most likely you have not experienced this yourself, but people give funny reactions when you tell them you are going to bacon camp. they  fall pretty universally along the lines of whether said person happens to be one of the 99.9% who also absolutely adore bacon and want to rub it on their faces (holy shit! i love bacon! i wanna go!) and the .01% of crazies who find bacon revolting and yes those people do exist (bacon camp? ew. i don’t even want to know what that is).

debate raged endlessly within my mind when deciding what to make for bacon camp. the so-high-tech-it’s-scary organizers of the camp  made a wiki where you could write what you were planning to bring and see what other dishes were in the works. noting that a lot of the dishes already online were ones i’ve made before (maple bacon cookies and bacon-infused bourbon), i wanted to make something that would be new and different for me and something that wouldn’t already be there in 14 different variations.

thus spawned the bacon hot pocket. you already know i have a thing for hot pockets. however, i’d like to take the opportunity to publicly state for the record, for those of you noting the hypocrisy between my professed love for hot pockets and my attempted avoidance of all things processed and chemically, that i do not in fact eat hot pockets (anymore). i just revere them as a concept and a pop culture phenomenon and an edible item encased in dough. aside: i once threw a party with the food theme ‘wrapped in dough’. so many different cultures produce a delicious food item wrapped in dough. empanadas! jiao zi! pierogies! pupusas! jamaican beef patties! i’m getting off topic! so anyways, i started testing a bacon hot pocket recipe for a dinner party the night before bacon camp. here’s a money shot of the finished result, mid-bite:


should you ever decide to make your own hot pockets, you may want to f*ck around with the dough a bit to get the right consistency (i’m trying to tone down the f*bombs to appease a diverse audience including my preteen cousins, not that it really makes a f*cking difference, you all know what i’m saying anyway). i decided to use bittman’s how to cook everything pizza dough recipe for the outer shell, but replacing the olive oil with bacon fat and adding some cornmeal.  here’s the adapted recipe:

1 tsp instant or rapid-rise yeast

2 1/2 cups all purpose flour

1/2 cup cornmeal

2 tsps salt

1 1/4 cups water

2 tbsps liquid bacon fat

for actual instructions on how to make the pizza dough, i’ll let someone else do the work. thanks bittman and npr.

fyi: i tend to be a ‘creative’ baker who likes to substitute and replace depending on what is and what is not currently available in my cupboard or what i think would taste good in a dish. sometimes this works and sometimes it does not. the dough turned out okay, but didn’t so much ‘double in size’ as ‘remain exactly the same size’ after a few hours, probably because i messed with the fat content and the flours and bacon grease probably affects dough in a very different way than olive oil.  oh well. it still turned into a crisp, savory nicely browned outer hot pocket shell and i didn’t even have a handy microwaveable sleeve! here’s an example of a test bacon hot pocket and the other materials utilized for construction of previously mentioned item :


ingredient list, clockwise from bottom left: mama bacon hot pocket and baby bacon hot pocket. shredded cheddar cheese, cilantro, and scallions (greenery suggested by john from bi-rite. thanks dude!). can of chipotles in adobo, to make it a calieeeeeeeeente pocket. next up, 1 pound of niman ranch applewood smoked bacon. rolling pin to keep it smoooth.  finally, a solid shot put of bacon fat infused pizza dough. nom nom.

here’s a plate of the finished product. note that i got really lazy with the shaping of the hot pockets and now they look like trashy motel pillows that i still want to put in my mouth for some reason:


last photo – a powerhouse combination of two classic american dishes wrapped in dough. alejandro brought pigs in a blanket to the dinner party and had leftover breakfast sausage.  the blowing-your-mind-with-fusion-food-result? HOT PIGS IN A POCKET!!!


oh man. i picked the photo with the flash so you could bask in the shiny reflective glow of two disgustingly greasy breakfast meats wrapped in the same warm doughy blanket. i am half shaking with laughter and half shuddering in disgust.

up next…after all this bacon hot pocket creation work, i decided to make bacon sushi instead. woohoo!

2 Responses

  1. Irene says:

    Wow! Drooling in the middle of feminism class is a new low, or maybe, a new high?

  2. Chris says:

    @Irene….that’s perfectly acceptable

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