This image is courtesy of Hyperbole and a Half, a blog that had our office on its knees in paroxysms of laughter for a good portion of the workday. Thanks, H+1/2, for destroying our productivity like a 7000% deadly shark-sloth.

Anyway, those links. Here’s some cool stuff we’ve been reading when not stuffing our faces with defenseless chocolate creatures.

Eat-onomics: The Ten Most Inspiring People in Sustainable Food [Fast Company]

Q&A with Chef Dan Barber: Can Organic Farming Feed The World? [TED Blog]

People Who Photograph Food and Post the Pictures Online [New York Times] Who are these freaks?

Jamie Oliver’s TED Wish: Teach Every Child About Food [TED]

20 Fascinating Lectures for Serious Foodies [Online Universities] Lots of our faves here, from Malcolm Gladwell to Dan Barber to Jennifer 8.  Lee to a ‘renegade lunch lady.’

How To Make Perfect Pork Crackling [Guardian] Finally, a decent reason to buy a hair dryer.

Q & A: Oscar Week: Food Inc. Director Robert Kenner [TIME] Yeah….this was from a long time ago.

Because I’ve self-medicated with an assortment of pharmaceuticals and can’t really read anything, I opened my Google Reader for the first time in about 6 months to look at all the pretty pictures.  Oooh, pretty pictures.  I will share some of them with you now.

First off, a great photo from a great article called Northeast China Branches Out In Flushing in the New York Times.

Wait a minute. Those are sticky-sweet caramel sugar strands stretching off chunks of deep-fried sweet potato? And that’s Chinese food? Holy crap. My world is rocking right now and it’s not just me overdosing on cold meds.  Perhaps my deep-frying obsession is coded deep within my DNA.  Irene Bean sent this article to me at about the exact moment the drool hit the keyboard upon reading it myself.  Go read about the cuisine of the Dongbei (literally ‘East North’) region and look at the slideshow: I promise you’ll do some serious drooling yourself.

Next, up: Boston Creme Pies from Design*Sponge

Ooooooooooooohmyyyygod.  Despite being proudly Boston born and bred, I’ve never really liked Boston creme pies.  But seeing this photo made me want to scoop up that cheeky little cake and smooosh it into my mouth in one bite.  Look at how mini it is!  It would totally fit.  Design*sponge is one of my favorite design blogs and their foodie/recipe series  ‘in the kitchen with’ has some of the most gorgeous food styling I’ve ever seen, along with some great recipes.  My camera whimpers a little in shame every time I look at the photos.  But my heart sings a bit with joy at the beauty of it all, so I do my best to temper the rising bile of inadequacy. I mean, really…how has a messy, half-eaten plate of radishes ever looked so good?

This spectacularly beautiful radish explosion is better described as a Spicy Heirloom Radish Salad and the recipe can be found  ‘In The Kitchen With’ Penny De Los Santos.

My last photo (because I reeeeeallly needed to go to bed like 3 hours ago, but I am not up of my own volition. Damn the batter in my head!) is from Slice: America’s Favorite Pizza Weblog, which is part of the jolly, fat, and friendly Serious Eats family.  If I manage to stay up to date with my Reader, it will probably be due to the daily dose of deliciousness  from Serious Eats.

Scrolling through the several hundred posts I missed over the past few months, my eyes starting to glaze over, my brain beginning to succumb to the dripping ooze of fry batter, I was shocked out of my stupor by the following photo:

Hey! I know that pizza! I know that pizza damn well, and glancing at this photo again has me tempted to book a flight to New Haven, Connecticut as we speak. Rather, as I type. And I’ll be honest with you, I’m not a huge fan of Connecticut. But seriously, Sally’s Apizza is some of the best pizza you’ll ever have.  It’s absolutely orgasmically good.  It’s also the home to one of my favorite food stories…

Assuming you have a generally adequate level of vision and sense of  spatial reasoning, I think you get an idea from the above photo how large the ‘Large’ pizza at Sally’s is.  16 slices!  It’s about the size of a small stovetop,  a mid-size bath mat, two normal ‘Large’ pizzas, or perhaps a very big catskin rug if your cat were one of those hilariously overweight cats whose pictures make me laugh on a regular basis.  Regardless, the Larges should more aptly be called Enormously Huges, and then the Large pizzas from every other pizza institution would not suffer the intense shame of comparison.

I went to Sally’s with four girlfriends – Rachel, Lex, Olivia, and Helen, all champion eaters and all wanting a different kind of pizza. I wanted to try the classic White Clam, Rachel swore by the Eggplant Parmesan, Lex refused to leave without the Mixed Hot Peppers No Mozz, and Helen preferred the Pepperoni and Onion. So of course, after waiting in line for almost two hours, we decided to get all four. In Large. For five girls. We had so much pizza, they had to bring over another table to put it on.  The guys at the table next to us started heckling – like straight-up shit talking – but we shut them up when we took down approximately 3.15 of them and had just enough to divide for leftovers the way we intended. It was one of the most satisfying eating experiences of my life – mostly because the pizza is unquestionably amazing and we waited two hours for it, but also seeing the grudging looks of respect in the eyes of those dudes.

Or maybe it was horror. I might have been too high on tomato sauce to know the difference.

Oh, and then Lex ordered another one to take home.  Seriously people, it’s that good.

Also…you’d think if I could ingest almost 16 slices of pizza, I’d be able to ingest enough Tylenol PM aka Lemsip Max All Night Cold & Flu Tablets to knock myself out  for the night, wouldn’t you?

]]> http://eatfamilystyles.com/2010/02/15/weekly-link-roundup-the-food-porn-version/feed/ 10 http://eatfamilystyles.com/2010/02/09/random-food-porn-or-what-i-accomplished-in-sophomore-fall/ http://eatfamilystyles.com/2010/02/09/random-food-porn-or-what-i-accomplished-in-sophomore-fall/#comments Tue, 09 Feb 2010 22:27:42 +0000 irene http://eatfamilystyles.com/?p=2825 As the spring semester starts up, I find my mind wandering back to all the things I did in the fall. Remember the fall semester? Walking up the slope without getting my face windburned off? Four months of classes and pouring money into this lovely Ivy League institution? Learning about things like neuroscience, psychology and the legal system, human development, and so on? Brutalizing your savings account and learning how to bake flourless chocolate torte, braise pork belly, poach eggs, make hollandaise sauce, butcher a deer, french ribs, and so on? Becoming a shameless fan of the blood-spatter-style plating of sauce (pictured below)? Do I remember all that? Not really. Good thing I took pictures, and we’ve got recipes coming in future posts.

The whole flourless chocolate torte thing started for us with Daniel Barbolobew’s birthday. We had espresso in the first incarnation of this absurd dessert, but eventually cut it out, adding instead raspberry coulis underneath and chocolate ganache on top. Here’s another peek:

Another project we took on last semester was the celebrated and scrumptious pork belly. Lots of people think of stomach – tripe, really – when they hear us talk about pork belly. No, no, no, no. Don’t get crazy. All we’re talking about is the cut of meat – the tummy, not the stomach – from which the holy grail of meat and fat and tasty (BACON) comes.

Uncured, dry-cured, beer-braised, cider-braised, torched, roasted, we did it all. The only really important part is that we braised it for three hours. (The reason we know that’s important is that we failed to do it twice, and with terrible, chewy, tough, no-fun results). Here’s a look at the belly before curing: shiny, fatty, and, if you have good spatial reasoning, obviously identical to bacon.

And here’s a shot of the pork belly, after curing, browning, and a little bit of braising.

Next, as we all know, we love Julia Child (but not that whiny Julie!) and so when we came home from the farmer’s market with a dozen fresh eggs, it was obvious to us that we needed to learn to poach them. This is one recipe I’m definitely posting. There seems to be a few different groups of people when it comes to poached eggs – those who’ve loved them forever and ate them all the time as kids, those who have never had them, those who hate them because they don’t understand the beauty of runny yolk, and those, who, like me, have recently become completely obsessed. It doesn’t hurt that Daniel is an egg-poaching pro.

Look at those wispy sheets of delicious egg white. Daniel and JC (you know which one) have so much in common. I think that’s why I like him so much. Anyway, poached eggs are also great because you can eat them in any number of ways: with traditional breakfast food, smooshed into a mini pita, next to your standard meat and potatoes, or on a salad with a plop of caramelized onions and some hollandaise sauce. Who invented this shit: take an egg, and then cover it with more egg – but not the whole egg, just the best, fattiest, most disgustingly tasty part – and mix that egg with butter. Crazy.

Finally, I won’t rehash all the gory details of our deer killing/butchering/eating experience (but you can: here!), but let me tell you: venison is awesome. We made bourguignon, curry, stirfry, but more often than not, just panfried little bits of steak (or, alternatively, heaven) and ate them with our fingers. To save you all that nonsense, here’s a rather unattractive pictures of the most attractive thing we’ve done with that animal so far: balsamic glazed frenched rack of ribs. Check it:

That concludes our review of the fall semester. Already, the spring has been extremely fruitful (or, to be more accurate, meatful), so look out for a recap of our Deadpan Entree Smackdown, and our first Deadpan event!

I’m in the process of migrating the blog over to another server, so apologies for any missing pages, weird links, and other bad things caused by my lack of coding skills and demonstrable inability to follow step-by-step instructions.

More importantly – we want to start a weekly link roundup of good articles, essays, ideas, and generally interesting and thought-provoking links from around the interwebs. Because other people are smart and do good work and write excellent pieces and we think they’re worth reading.

Thus. What I read this morning in bed and yesterday when I should have been working:

1. Food writer Corby Kummer in The Atlantic on the value of school gardens, rebutting another Atlantic writer who decries schoolyeard gardens as cruel, elitist, oppressive, and plain out wrong -  without bothering to speak to any educators, parents, children, or community members who have experienced such a program. Corby, on the other hand, actually makes the effort.

2. A GOOD article on aquaponics and making urban farming sustainable. You know how we love Will Allen of Growing Power and his vertically integrated closed loop sustainable urban farm programs. This article talks more about urban agriculture and introduced me to a fantastic San Francisco-based company called Cityscape Farms seeking to develop local food economies and transform the urban landscape by creating urban greenhouses.  I truly think that it’s these types of thoughtful, sustainable yet also business-minded approaches that are going to change America’s food system for the better.

3. Another GOOD article – yeah, I like them – on how Better Meat Requires Better Butchers. So true and so needs to be said. We pay so much attention to the bucolic ideal of small farmers with excellent animal husbandry over factory-farmed meat. But if the pasture-grazed cow is still sent to an industrial slaughterhouse because there are no small licensed facilities available, we’re very likely still losing out in terms of food safety, animal welfare transportation efficiencies, environmental pollutants, and numerous other problems associated with these industrial systems. So we need more butchers. Better for the animals, better for the eaters, better for the planet.

Plus, butchers are badass. Looks like it’s time for a new hobby. Way to begin the fight, Irene.

4. Lastly, a final GOOD article (I know it’s been 3 articles from them, it’s just…they’re really…don’t make me say it…you get the picture…) on the Slow Money Alliance, which is trying to be the Slow Food of the financial world by promoting value-added investment into local and regional farming enterprises. Can you imagine the impact it would have if more and more people directed their money towards small business rather than big business, companies that prioritize local production over international destruction, people rather than profits? (Note, this isn’t just some money-draining, feel-good hippie operation – the goal is to provide a return on your investment while supporting these ideals).  I’m interested to research this further myself.

UPDATE: Another interesting article called Who Will Grow Your Food? Part 1: The Coming Demographic Crisis in Agriculture by the author of A Nation of Farmers: Defeating the Food Crisis on American Soil.  What will happen as farmers grow old or can’t afford to keep their land if no one is being trained to replace them? How will this affect our food system and the way we eat?

So. Hope you enjoy the articles. I sometimes find it overwhelming  trying to ingest just a few valuable drops of the tidal wave of information crashing towards me every day online and it’s nice to have things carefully picked out for you every once in a while. These pieces make me start copying and pasting links into various emails with the heading ‘YOU HAVE TO READ THIS ARTICLE NOW’, so this is just my lazy way of putting them all in one place. We’re going to try to do this weekly at least, so keep your eyes open…

]]> http://eatfamilystyles.com/2010/01/16/read-this-now-introducing-the-weekly-link-roundup/feed/ 0 http://eatfamilystyles.com/2009/12/14/sailing-an-orange-slice-on-a-punch-bowl-sea-and-coffee-geekery/ http://eatfamilystyles.com/2009/12/14/sailing-an-orange-slice-on-a-punch-bowl-sea-and-coffee-geekery/#comments Mon, 14 Dec 2009 23:21:28 +0000 mei http://familystyles.wordpress.com/?p=2547

You know you’re about to have a bit of a bizarre experience when you’re asked if you’ve recently suffered from discharging ears. I suppose all sorts of odd precautions are necessary when you’re about to float across a punch bowl full of 4,000 liters of cocktail. WOOHOO! PUNCH IN YOUR FACE.

I got to visit the amazing Architectural Punch Bowl by Bompas & Parr last week and wrote it up for Wired UK here.

I also got to interview my favorite coffee maker and World Barista Champion Gwilym Davies and coffee roaster/ex-World Barista Champion Jim Hoffman for a piece on coffee geekery as well! So much cool sh*t going on here in London.

Some more photos from the Punch Bowl after the jump…

Upon walking up to 33 Portland Place, the Central London mansion home to the Punch Bowl:

You can see Sam, one of the Punch Bowl creators, clad in a snazzy American diner/drive thru style uniform welcoming the visitors.  After checking your coat and belongings, you come to the Health & Safety room.

Cecilia, pictured below, designed many of the inventive little touches like the outfits and the remote control toy boat fake fruit garnishes.

We got hairnets, plastic aprons, and if you so chose, your very own beard snood. Abi most definitely chose to snood herself.

And the punch bowl itself? It was essentially a massive pool of spicy, fruity, insanely alcoholic punch with another uniformed ladler doling out glasses at the edge.

Here’s a thoroughly ridiculous photo of me, doing a ballet glide across the cocktail sea (and nearly getting stuck in the centre of the bowl).

And after nearly drowning in an ocean of punch? We went to the front of the mansion to drink more cocktails.

All in all, a fabulous, hilarious, random, surreal, one-of-a-kind experience.  That is, until I flood my living room with Champagne and start charging people to come swim laps. Anyone who would like to sponsor this endeavor, hit me up…

Pizza eat ghost. Me eat pizza. Want pizza now…

Ok, while I go eat pizza, you go check out the gallery and leave a comment because you luuurrrve me and want Wired to keep me around. Mmm. Pizza.

1. Avoiding Factory Farms: An Eater’s Guide, by Nicolette Hahn Niman

2. Good Food Nation, by Peter Dizikes of the MIT News Office

Seriously, go read them. Or if you just want me to summarize, click after the jump for brief overviews, some additional thoughts, and an amusing childhood connection…

Ok. First off, Avoiding Factory Farms: An Eater’s Guide, by Nicolette Hahn Niman

An excellent, comprehensive, and informative guide towards how to eat well for yourself, your community, and the rest of the planet. Niman gives broad general advice (be prepared to pay more, ask questions, consider it an adventure!), helpful tips on where to look (supermarkets suck, farmers markets are awesome, look for sustainable restaurants) , information on animal-based products (buy domestic and pastured, grass-fed and organic are good but flawed, free-range means very little) and even more details by animal and by dairy product.

Go read, now.  Niman is a livestock rancher (wife of Bill Niman of Niman Ranch Meat), a lawyer, and author of a book called Righteous Porkchop: Finding a Life and Good Food Beyond Factory Farms. Yeah, she pretty much kicks ass. The only thing I’d add to the article is the importance of cooking yourself! It’s cheaper, it’s fun, it’s engaging and interesting and creative and educational.  Sure, it can be time-consuming, but it’s worth it in so many ways.

2. Good Food Nation, by Peter Dizikes of the MIT News Office

A very exciting article on two studies  by MIT researchers: one concluding that America’s childhood obesity epidemic is a result of our national food system subsidizing and surrounding children with unhealthy processed food, and another in conjunction with Columbia researchers proposing that regional food systems could be a solution to the health problem.

The team suggests that regional food production and distribution efforts such as urban garden plots and ‘lawn to farm’ conversions would help increase access to good, healthy, affordable, non-processed food. Another amazing suggestion: ‘entrepreneurs or government should invest in a new concept: “food terminals,” retail developments combining grocery stores with greenhouses, farmers’ markets, restaurants, and even education centers as magnets for city residents who otherwise lack access to fresh produce.’  Plus, fresh food buses! Love that idea. Goal for the future: open a food terminal. Check.

The researchers also tied in ssues of costs, lifestyle, transportation and  health care and plan to address some of these other economic factors in a future study. For now, they acknowledge that it’s a huge task trying to overhaul America’s food system, but a critical issue that needs to be addressed and these ideas are a step in the right direction. I heartily agree.

A very entertaining footnote: I’m pretty sure I was in this exact MIT obesity study as a kid.  First off, I would like to make clear that I was not obese as a child. Seriously. I may like butter-fried pasta, but let’s not get out of hand (although that would be kind of hilarious but only in retrospect as a now-completely-the-opposite-of-obese person). My mom works at MIT and knew one of the researchers and I used to go in once a year to get weighed and measured, run on a treadmill, talk about what foods I ate, stay in the hospital overnight, and most terrifyingly, lie down for a long period of time with a weird plastic box over my head and electrodes all over my body. Hmm. Wonder what that was all about. But I remember it being fun to pick out what hospital food I wanted and to write down a food diary with one of the researchers while playing with weird plastic fruit replicas.  Perhaps that was the beginning of my food obsession.  It all comes full circle…

He’s poetic too.

As I told Dan and should have mentioned in the article, once you pull the steak out of the water oven, you slap it on a grill or in a pan on high heat and get a good sear. Mmmmmmmmmmm perfect steak. Writing the article made me want my own sous-vide machine, but since I can’t afford the one I referenced I might just have to make my own like the awesome one below from the author of the droolworthy food blog Inuyaki (and his Flickr photos here)

A hacked together machine like that made this:

Forget finishing off your steak on the grill when you can DEEP FRY it. Umm…Deep Fried Short Ribs?, you ask?  Yup. Those beauties above were ‘cooked in a 135F/57.2C waterbath for 48 hours and then deep fried in 360F vegetable oil for a few minutes to crisp up the skin.’ Oh holy crap. Want steak now. Inuyaki, your food geek innovation is making me drool all over my keyboard.

Food + Geek  x  Creativity(Innovation) = YUM.

CHOW.com’s baker’s dozen of provocateurs, trendsetters, and rabblerousers in food. Butchers, brewers, Slow Food-ers, and more. These people rock.

Michelle Obama is going to cameo on Iron Chef America on Battle: White House Garden. Cristeta Comerford, the White House chef and Bobby Flay vs. Mario Batali and Emeril Lagasse. I love her.

The other White House chef, Sam Kass, is also a public policy wonk helping to publicize good food and fight childhood obesity.  I love him too. This may or may not have something to do with the fact that he is kind of ridiculously attractive.

And lastly, Jonathan Safran Foer wrote a beautiful piece in the Food Issue of the New York Times Magazine, an excerpt from his book called Eating Animals. It’s  about food, family, history, memory, inconsistent vegetarianism, and ultimately, not eating animals.  In just a few pages it made me laugh and made me cry.

Go read about all these fantastic people doing amazing things.

to share some of these favorites, i’ve started a page of good food books including all these different categories, which you can find under ‘food reads’ on the side of the blog.  i was inspired to create a dedicated book page because of two recent book encounters i want to share: my life in france by julia child and the how not to cookbook project by aleksandra mir.

warning: there’s a lot of writing coming up, but you’re only going to click  if you like reading in the first place, right?

book #1: my life in france.

i was reminded of this book, one of the two which inspired the movie ‘julie & julia’, after seeing the film last week at an early screening held by the publishers.  i had already read and loved the story of how julia child, an awkwardly tall american who could barely chop an onion, became Julia Child, master of the art of french cooking, television cooking star, and beloved gastronomic icon.  it was actually the first book i read when i moved to london and julia’s joyously entertaining and endearingly human tales of food and life from paris to marseilles to oslo to germany and all the way back to cambridge, massachusetts helped me feel just a little bit better about finding myself in a brand new country knowing practically no one.  it’s fascinating reading about her first bites of a life-transforming sole meuniere, her trials and tribulations at Le Cordon Bleu, her tireless and unyielding dedication to her magnum opus of a cookbook, and especially her moving and inspiring relationship with her husband, paul child. these are also some of the best parts of the movie thanks to a stunning acting performance by a spot-on meryl streep. shockingly tall and seriously poufy-haired, streep whoops and trills her way from a brand new parisian resident with practically no cooking experience but a passion for eating on to the celebrated cookbook author years later with a genuinely warm and amazing portrayal of child’s distinctive voice and mannerisms.  i’d love to watch an entire movie based on just this book; honestly, i could have done without the whole julie powell side, although it’s interesting to consider how her experience has influenced the world of food blogging.  if you love food, read the book and go see the movie just for julia child’s story and for meryl streep. oh, and go for the butter. butter plays a starring role too. and chocolate. and boeuf bourgignon. you’ll be very hungry afterwards, i promise.

book #2: the how not to cookbook.

i found out about this hilarious, giggle-inciting, belly-laugh-inducing, wise, and wonderful cookbook/art project on a great blog called edible geography via my equally wonderful cousin lexi.  the cookbook is a compilation of 1000 bits of cooking wisdom gained from cooking disasters submitted by real people from around the world, compiled by aleksandra mir. not only is this a fantastic idea, but it’s publicly funded and free to download! i kid you not.

i spent a good portion of last night erupting with spits and screams of laughter while poring over the submissions, split into helpful and highly entertaining categories like ‘bread,’ ‘family,’ ‘dating,’ and ‘burns.’  i quite literally rolled on the floor giggling, although to be honest i was already lying on the floor.

some quotes are ridiculous. some are actually quite useful. some are meaningful, some are incredibly simple, some i don’t agree with at all. as a whole, it’s an incredible display of collective thought, humor and wisdom for the kitchen and even sometimes for life in general. here are some of my absolute favorites:

‘When baking a rich and fruity Guinness Cake for its allocated 2 hours, do not forget to check the oven’s settings. Make sure the setting is on oven rather than grill—this will save you having to evacuate the hotel.’ (this is good solid advice although it might be more relevant if i had a hotel)

‘It may seem macho to use a hand-whisk in place of an electric whisk. Do not be tempted, especially when the recipe says to whisk for fifteen minutes. She will not be impressed and you will look like a fool.’ (i can just imagine the poor guy whisking for a good hour while his date looks on scornfully from across the kitchen)

‘When baking a turkey, do not forget to take out the bag of innards. It is not an appetizing treasure to find on Thanksgiving.’ (i love this person for using the phrase ‘appetizing treasure’)

‘Do not be a cookbook slave. Trust your imagination, and never think ingredients to be irreplaceable.’

and

‘Do not follow recipes, unless for cakes. Experiment and learn by trial and error. You will love them like your own. And maybe others will too.’ (i’m a big fan of those two. couldn’t agree more)

‘When heating a croissant in the microwave, if you have left it in too long and it has gone hard, do not assume that another 3 minutes will sort it out. It will not and the fire brigade prefers toast anyway.’ (so helpful!)

‘Oh my God, never confuse plastic food trays with cookie sheets! Baking casualty!’ (i don’t even want to know what that oven looked like afterwards)

‘Do not put hot beverages near your hard drive or else you might have to replace your hard drive.’ (wisdom we should all keep in mind)

‘Do not store cookbooks in the oven.’ (i am curious as to the story behind this one)

‘Do not just crack a raw egg into a bowl of semi-hot vegetables and rice and hope that it will cook up and taste like bibimbap in a hot stone bowl. It is simply not possible.’

and

‘Do not use a plastic spoon to stir cheese sauce. It can melt and sometimes people do not notice until after they have eaten it.’ (both very helpful, and both things we might never ever discover on our own)

‘Do not surrender to any dish you are cooking. If something fails, do your best to rescue it.’ (i like this as a war cry of the kitchen)

‘Do not think that it is impossible to burn the house down making a salad. Do not put an egg on to boil and go out into the garden to pick some vegetables, accidentally locking yourself out. Do not assume that others will be back before dinner and then decide to go to the library for a couple of hours, consequently forgetting about the egg. Do assume when you come back a few hours later you may find a fire engine and clouds of blue smoke bellowing from the house, and a pan that has boiled dry and melted. Avoid salad.’ (AMAZING)

and last but certainly not least: ‘Do not scare your Haggis immediately prior to preparation. Frightened Haggii develop goose bumps with small clumps of acidic residue underneath, which in turn reacts on contact with Neeps. The reaction knackers your sauce, leading to the dreaded ‘Sassenach’ situation. ‘ (i’m…speechless. did i mention this book was commissioned in scotland?)

if i could have submitted my own advice, it would have read something like this: ‘Do not make a baking soda and vinegar volcano and then decide to turn it into cookies. Adding green food coloring, several cups of sugar, and rainbow sprinkles will not all of a sudden make this combination into a delicious dessert.’

i could cut and paste about 990 more, but i’ll let you go download it for yourself. i promise it’s the most entertaining read you’ll encounter for quite some time…